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Where Are You?

Maeve Mezergues

Where are you?

They all keep throwing around numbers, claiming that you must be everywhere. They keep saying that there are millions and millions of galaxies out there and millions and millions of stars, maybe an infinity of them, and that it just wouldn’t make sense if we were alone in all this mess.

So, tell me, where are you?

We are a grain of sand in a vast desert. Have you ever seen a desert made of a single grain of sand? I know you exist. And by that I mean I want you to exist. Need you to exist. Some people may be frightened by the idea of your existence, but that’s only because they haven’t realised how much worse the idea of your absence is. It is said that human mind is incapable of comprehending the concept of infinity, so how could we live in infinite loneliness?

Tell me, or tell someone else, it doesn’t matter. But tell us: where are you?

We keep shouting, you know. We live on hope, that’s just part of who we are. We’ll keep screaming until we find you or until we disappear. We’ll keep screaming even if you keep ignoring.

All the maths teachers I ever had was obsessed by the idea that maths was a universal language. The only one, even, because mathematics is the same for everyone. If the numbers are universal, then they are the same for you.

You know we exist.

You shouldn’t ignore us.

You could give us a sign. Any sign. We know we probably couldn’t communicate, but that’s not the most important thing. We could look at each other and that would already be enough.

Not forever, but it would be a good start.

Are we such terrible creatures that we deserve only silence and darkness? Are you afraid of us? Are you afraid we’ll going to kill you like we killed our gods? Is that why you let us scream into eternity? Do you laugh at the funny drawings send away, and the pictures and the songs and our names?

Is that funny to you?

It doesn’t matter. It’s not about you. It’s about us.

I don’t care who you are. I don’t care what you want. I just need to know.

Where are you?

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