Hey, You Up?

Have you been getting the messages we’ve been sending? I mean, it’s cool if you didn’t, we totally get it. Space is big! The speed of light is fast, sure, but it’s long on the galactic timescale! Like, we’ve just been sending out waves for the past two hundred or so years, but I’m sure they haven’t reached you yet anyway, haha. Maybe you sent something back already, but it didn’t reach us? Maybe you sent something before we got our antennas in order…

I’m sure it’s fine! Nothing’s wrong. You’re probably just busy building lasers or something cool like that.

Did you get the golden discs we sent you? We thought you might like it. We worked REALLY hard on it, and we’re pretty proud of it. Not to brag, but gold is pretty expensive here and the guys at NASA put a lot of thought about what to send, so they’d really love it if you sent us a thank you.

We’ve been really excited to meet you guys, you know. Is it okay if we call you guys? It’s a little bit embarrassing, to be honest, but we’ve been daydreaming about meeting you for a few hundred years now. We’ve written some really cool stories about you; a lot of people are expecting you to come and solve all our problems. No pressure though!

It’s not like we’re some pushovers either! We’ve also been worried that you might not be super-duper nice if you find us. Like, there are a lot of movies where you guys show up and kill everyone and vacuum up all our water with a big hose or get annoyed at how needy and loud we are and nuke our planet.

Did I mention we have nukes? Some of the guys in the army really wanted us to mention that part, but really, we’re a super friendly group of guys! Just send us a message, some nice electromagnetic pulses on the old antennas, and we’d be happy to meet up! We’re free any time.

Do you guys drink? We kind of assume that you do, but it’s cool if you don’t, we don’t judge. We’re cool if you guys are all tentacles and weird mouths or if you’re some sort of ball of energy too. I mean we are a little judgy about the people on our own planet, but for you guys, nothing is off limits!

How’s your day been? Sorry, maybe you don’t have days, how has your last solar circumference been going? Ours has been great, a little warm, but great.

Is this thing on?

We’re right around the corner, just in the Milky Way, if you ever get the time to stop by. Just give us a call.

Please.