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  • Writer's pictureJakob Dittmar

Them O'Graphys

Thoughts about Lady History

by a half-drunk warden in the park

Funny, you’re asking, lad! She lives just down the road from here and I swear, she does not age... As far as I am concerned, History is a strange Lady.

No idea how to describe her, she lives so much in the moment and always looks different: down at the pub, some say that she is beautiful. Others say to the contrary. They never agree. Always ends in a fight, and the bartender keeps a log of these shenanigans.

There is at least one geezer in town who fancies her, maybe because of his silly name: Histroi O’Graphy – come on, who would call a child like that? Sounds as if he was named after her, creepy. Anyways, he has been lurking around her place, trying to draw her portrait. People have seen him go through her dustbins... Long ago there was another one who fancied her. He wrote poems about her fruitful lap and stuff! I would not let nobody say such things about my daughter, but her family seems rather wonky liberal. I’ve never seen any of her folks, they are all absent, just as they write about in the newspapers so often. Poor kids!

Well, History, she has taken care of herself for so long now, that much we know from the neighbors.

Anyway, that bloke Histroi comes from an artistic family as he tells everybody who cares to listen. But they are rather shopkeepers, depending on who you ask. They have been selling pens and paper and images and stuff for generations. Might be quite fitting that they are called the O’Graphys. Or they assumed the name later. I do not know, lad. But some say that History could tell: Seems to go round in circles that thing, she and that family. But I won’t ask her, nah, don’t want to be seen ‘round her house. Just gets you into trouble, the Lady.

Funny story, that one: That Histroi was selling maps of time. At least that’s what he claimed back then when he went into business. I have seen some in his shop window. Difficult to read, at least the adult versions, if you ask me. Some rather empty: Done from “archive matter”, he said. There was nothing to see, really, some say. Just fancy lines. That business got him into trouble for good: And – turns out it was all about his Lady History. They put him at her Majesty’s pleasure for some time for invading privacy and making pictures without consent. Who would have guessed? The court really leaned on the poor geezer. But his sister got him out again rather quickly. She’s a clever lass, that Cheeri O’Graphy, bless her. Always smiling, always friendly. Don’t know how she keeps it up in these times and with them O’Graphys.

Oh darn, I am late, need to be gone! Nice little chat we had – don’t tell anybody that I told you all that stuff about them O’Graphys and that History-woman, right? Ah, never mind! And enjoy the park!

Written by Jakob Dittmar.

Cover photo by Fabien Barral.


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